I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
