i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I AM VODKA MAN
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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