Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
