Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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