have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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