remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
