we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
