This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
