He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
