I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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