So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
