filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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