she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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