Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
