Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You just made me feel so damn special
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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