Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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