Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
