if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
