i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
