1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.