at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
