why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
