dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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