I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize