You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize