I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
