dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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