this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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