i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
