My boss' voice literally gives me gas
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
