if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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