he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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