so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
