So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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