she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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