If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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