hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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