A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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