he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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