the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize