Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
