I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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