I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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