Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
