I just pynch a tree in the face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
