She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
