why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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