His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
