Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
