As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize