D3 body, D1 cock
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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