a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head