the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
