Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
