before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
