I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize