thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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