I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
