i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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