Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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