I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize