Kiss
Puke
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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