About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
